but i want it!!!!!!!!!

yep, that's right- hubby and i are on a diet. what made us come to this unbelievably horrific and insane decision? we are both overweight- i don't think we look bad, but we definately feel bad- we don't have the energy we used to, we don't look like we used to, hell, we can't even walk up a flight of stairs without being completely winded! i feel like this diet will be best for the both of us- hubby has been wanting to diet for a while and i really want to support him on this (and hopefully loose a few pounds myself :0)- you can never look to hott right?- yep that's hott with two t's!

so anyways enough about my hottness, hubby and i are on day 6 of our diet and all is going pretty well- that is if you consider mood swings and extreme panic well. i am NOT used to denying myself whatever i want to eat, whenever i want to eat it- i have just never worked like that. i have always prided myself on being able to eat whatever i wanted- and as much of it as i wanted to. then i realized that eating whatever i want is not good for me- in fact when your me and you crave things like scalloped potatoes, pizza, nachos, crunchwrap supremes, jimmy johns, and of course my all time favorite- pasta, all the time your body is bound to "give" a little- and in my case it has given a lot.

since my last couple of posts have been big reveal posts here is another one for you- when i met D i weighed about 120 pounds- totally normal for my height and age- in fact i even weighed in low on the average. i have never been one to chart my weight or even worry about my weight for that matter (except for the time i went on a mandarin orange and rice diet in high school- i was young and not so bright, what can i say?) but i have to say my concern level is on high.

my current weight? 140 lbs

that may not seem like a lot but from my point of view 20 lbs is a lot of weight to gain or such a short amount of time. and my eating habits are not good- it seems like lately i have not been able to feel full in quite a while- i am always eating, eating, eating- especially because i sit at a computer all day- when i get bored, i eat, on my 15 min break i eat, when i'm on my lunch i eat- it is a lot of food for one person to eat in a day. for example last week for lunch my fabulous coworkers and i went to taco bell- not the best place to eat but it is cheap. well i love their crunchwraps without the meat- they are sooo good. well i decided 1 was not going to be enough- so i got 2 thinking maybe i could have that other one later for a snack. i also got 2 orders of nachos- because after all they are small, right?

i ate both crunchwraps, both nachos, and a regular coke- WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!

i definately walked away feeling full, but sluggish- that's not the way i want to feel after eating! i want to feel full, but refreshed and energized, not tired and bloated. so this diet will be good for both of us- i have already lost 5 1lbs, which i am sure is water weight but non the less it is progress!

i was a little crazy the first couple of days i will admit. taking me grocery shopping was no fun task, just ask Darin! everytime he turned around i was grabbing something full of calories and fat. if i wasn't grabbing chips, cookies, or frozen pizza i was asking him "well what CAN i eat then Dr. Dubinsky?!?!!?" in a very sarcastic tone. yea i imagine my withdrawal from sugar and fatty foods to be something similiar to that of a smoker going cold turkey- only i was much more bitchy about it....

there are many upsides to this diet- not only will we loose weight, but we will also feel better about ourselves. and i really, really want to prepare my body for when we do start TTC- if i eat bad now, how will i be able to stop myself from eating bad while i'm pregnant? i just don't want to risk my baby's health because of my bad eating habits

so wish me luck my friends, i'm going to need it...