Tuesday, February 3, 2009

harder to come back then i thought

okay so now you can all really, really yell at me....go ahead, i'll wait....

out of your system? good....i can't have my blog readers mad at me!

well i really truly have written blog posts- and then never published them. not because i didn't want to, but because i got lazy and forgot all about them. so where are these blog posts? well, i'm not sure if they are really relavent right now- and i just thought why post them.... so i decided to write a new post about random things that have been going on.....very random

okay, so i recently graduated in december with my undergraduate degree in Art Therapy- WOW......excited and relieved doesn't even begin to describe how i feel....i have been working on this degree for 4 1/2 years...so much has gone into that degree- laughter, worry, tears, smiles, growth...growth beyond anything i could have ever forseen for myself. college is not just about the degree- it's also about everything in between...i know that now, i just wished i had known that then..... so now that i'm done with one degree i may just be crazy enough to go back for another- why you ask? because i just don't feel fufilled...i need more- i went back to school yesterday with erin (best friend ever...) and sat in on her photography class- i realized that i missed that, i missed sitting there and soaking in the teacher, the room, my desk, my classmates....i missed it all. this my dear friends is how i know i am not done with my education, not by a long shot- i am going to go back...i'll go back until it's enough- when will that be, i don't know...stay tuned

hmmmm another thing- i have been working at my job now almost full time....and it's been kind of, well, anti-climatic- really, do i really work here? i do like where i work- i just feel that i am meant to do something more challenging....much much more challenging....so if i find something more fufilling then i will accept it, welcome it even- and if not then i will wait to see what more schooling will bring- something is going to happen, i can feel it i'm just not sure what it is yet....i used to dread not knowing, however i LOVE that feeling now- i love not knowing, that is what makes life worth living..

also on the job front i am still working for Molly over at mthreestudio- which i am completely excited about!!! this job i absolutely LOVE.....assisting one of the best photographers in milwaukee is awesome....AWESOME!!! i love helping Molly capture a couples special day, every couple is different and that is what makes this job so great.... i am very excited for wedding season 2009..bring it on!!!!

hmmm let me think...there are other things but it's best to leave somethings for other posts no?

i will leave you all with this- i have been thinking a lot lately, i guess not just thinking but growing- changing and really looking at my life. i love life and i really am exploring what i'm supposed to be doing with it.... trust me, this exploration does not come easy- and i don't think it's suppposed to. however don't worry about me, this is an exciting adventure- i love this ride, i don't know where it will take me, but it will be so worth it....

and i know i said that was my last thing..however i have one more for you- a friend tuned me in to one of the most beautiful songs i think i have ever heard....i love it so i thought i would share.... the song is called beautiful mess by Jason Mraz.

i will leave you with the lyrics, please come back- i promise to write more soon!

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective,
Though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt oh dear
Cause here we are, Here we are
Here we are [x7]
We're still here
What a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

Through timeless words, and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds, out of this earth
And times they turn, and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses, and stained our shirts
But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it.

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