Tagged

Molly has tagged me with a new game! I have never done one of these- so why not? :0)

1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 5 songs you are embarrassed to admit to others you like and tell why.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

So i really really love music- i wish this was a tag with the rules, what music you really really love and could sing it from the rooftops but it's not- so here are my songs that i am embarrassed to admit that i like

1.) Britney Spears- Piece of Me
I don't know if i could explain just how crazy i get when this song is on- but i do. I absolutely love the version with the random crazy fan in the background screaming "Leave Britney Alone!"- only played on Kiss Fm for all i can tell. When this song is played in the club it's over- let's just say that :0)

2.) Juvenile- Back That Ass Up
This song takes me back- to high school dances- lots of "cool" bump and grind moves you can do to this song guys! How dumb did i look getting "down" in my homecoming dress to the words "girl you look good, why don't you back that ass up?" ( sorry for making that sound so not the way it was supposed to!)

3.) Big and Rich- Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy
I remember doing a really bad line dance to this song for my RA conference my sophomore year of college. All of my fellow RA's complained how lame this song was- i completely agreed.... but secretly there was a little more yeee-haw in my step because i truly love this song :0)

4.) Coolio- Gangsta Paradise
Molly and i totally and completely share this obsession- i love this song and it is completely not played enough on the radio. Whenever it is played i turn it up- and have been known to hit my steering wheel and do a completely lame version of the finger point thing- yea i'm bad ass...

5.) Sisqo- Thong Song
Yep you heard it right- i love the thong song. There is just something about Sisqo that i heart- i couldn't tell you what it is but i love it :0) This song came out in 2000 and was right around the time i started going to dances my freshman year of high school. (See song #2 and you'll have the rest of the story)

Okay so now that you know all of my secret songs that i dance to like a crazy fool in my apartment i want to know yours-
I Tag....
Erin
Jessica
Julia
Erin
Sierra
Natasha

open your eyes....

hi everyone- it has been a really long time since i have had time to post a real post- well not that long but it feels like forever!

i have been meaning to post this post for a while and i feel like today is the day. I woke up this morning to my alarm clock- as usual but not usual. I have it set to play music and i realized how fitting this song was for today's post- and honestly for a lot of posts i have written lately- especially my post a couple of days ago- which was extremely important for me to write- a lot to let go, a lot to let in- you can read that post if you'd like here

so the song was by snow patrol- i'll post the lyrics at the end of this post- they are beautiful and say a lot about what i'm going to say.

i have been following Julia's blog for a while now and she never ceases to amaze me- especially now. I can't do this story justice- Julia writes it a lot better- so please go over to her site and read about Keri.

Keri has come into my life- i don't know her but i feel as if i do. I have been following her story on Julia's blog as well as her own Journal that she has started- Keri's Journal-

The strength of Keri has amazed me- i can't imagine how hard it is to be diagnosed with Breast Cancer at the age of 26. She is one amazing and strong woman though and has made me realize how strength in time of heartache is the key. Keri is living each day- ready to kick this cancer right out of her- this strength that she has will bring her through this- i am in awe and i'm glad to have been able to follow this journey with her and Julia.

Keri will be going through a lot in the next couple of weeks- 8 rounds of chemotherapy, 6 weeks of daily radiation, multiple reconstructive surgeries, hormonal replacement therapy, and infertility treatments. Chemotherapy will throw Keri's body into menopause. Keri will have to have her eggs frozen so that she can have hope to have children in the future. This procedure will cost upwards of $10,000 dollars- and it is not covered by insurance.

If everyone who reads this donates to Keri's fund this unexpected financial burden could be lifted from her. Any amount helps- no amount is too small. I hope that everyone can help Keri- please think about donating, every dollar counts! Here is the donation information

Please make your donation check to:

Keri Wilkie Breast Cancer Medical Fund
P.O. Box 833
Emporia, KS 66801

I hope that everyone reads this and takes a minute to post something on their own blogs, journals, emails- anything! Spread this word about Keri's strength- she is so young to have this happen to her- but she faces it with a smile, and a positive attitude- we all can learn something from Keri, i know i have.

Please take a moment to link to these blogs- leave your comments, love and support- find it in your heart to donate if you can. Keri's story and donation information can also be found on Julia's blog post that i linked to above.

"Open Your Eyes"

All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you
My bones ache, my skin feels cold
And I'm getting so tired and so old

The anger swells in my guts
And I won't feel these slices and cuts
I want so much to open your eyes
'Cause I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you'll open your eyes [x4]

Get up, get out, get away from these liars
'Cause they don't get your soul or your fire
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time

Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere
I want so much to open your eyes
'Cause I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you'll open your eyes [x8]

All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you

i'm still here!!!

i know it's been a while guys- school is making me crazy! i will write very soon- i have an important post i want to write and i don't want to rush it- it will be up by tonight. for now here are some random thoughts....

- the weather is freakin GORGEOUS- i don't know how much longer i will be able to be productive at anything unless it is outdoors

- school is kicking my ass- there are not enough hours in the day to be efficient and i hate that- i want to be reaching my full potential but with everything i have to do it is near impossible

- the little bit of time i have had lately to see friends has been amazing- i absolutely love my friends and am so lucky to have them

- life is sometimes unfair, but we are strong and life is worth living- this is what pulls us through- i have more on this but it will have to wait until tonight- i know how you guys love to wait lol :0)

- hard work does pay off- i believe everything i am doing now is for a reason- ask me an hour from now if i feel like that and you may get a different answer- but the real answer always is yes, it does pay off in the end

- there are 3 more weeks to freedom- the countdown has begun!

- after school is done i really want to concentrate on the things that matter most- my family, wonderful husband, friends, myself, and my blog- i never thought my blog could mean this much to me but it does- even now as i type i realize how great of an outlet it is- a connection to people that although i have never met i feel like i am close to- you guys rock!

- and finally my wonderful husband- he probably thinks he married a crazy woman- babe if you are reading this and putting out a search for your real wife i promise she is coming back soon! thank you for all the crap you have been putting up with- you are a doll and i love you :0)

well guys that's all i have for now- please check the blog again tomorrow for a new post!

here is a picture i found of myself last summer- i have a thing about ducks- i love them but i'm always afraid they are going to chase me and eventually catch up to me and bite me- but here i am brave as can be- there is a video that proceeds this that i will have to post soon- and it it hilarious

this is how we have fun....

a video that we shot over the weekend of our cat dexter- remember the halloween kitty space suit? well we began talking about that space suit and how he didn't fit into it- so hubby made a song about him.... and his fatty ways

sorry it is sideways! still very worth watching
please don't call PETA :0)

happy monday!

an old worn shoe taught me a lot

as i was looking down at my keys today i realized that i have A LOT of keychains- too many in fact- so many i feel that they were the reason for the replacement of my ignition a couple of months back. D is constantly telling me that i should think about retiring some of my keychains. so today i looked at them- all of them. from my "tofu fighting" keychain to my laser pointer keychain and finally to his keychain- this one could be taken off right? after all i've had it on my key ring for the past 4 years and it really is tattered, torn, and very worn out looking. then i realized why it was worn out looking- because i have taken this keychain with me everywhere for the past four years of my life- my college life to be exact. everything i have endured- good times, bad times, in-between times- through these past four years this tiny pink shoe has been there for. maybe this is why it looks so worn.

-i decided to make a list- you all know how i love lists! this list is a list of things i have gone through- things that have been tough, others that have been joyous and beautiful. there have been paths that were ended and new ones found. all throughout these four years i never realized just how much has happened to me. so here it is.

- i remember the first day i got this little pink shoe. it was my freshman year of college when i first started dancing. one of my closest friends cara gave this to me as a present for christmas. she told me she knew i loved the color pink and that she knew i loved to dance- and so did she, so naturally it was the perfect gift. i put that shoe on my key ring that very day and haven't taken it off once to this day.

- that same year i began swing dancing- it was a wonderful way to open up the real me. i was finally growing into my own- i was personable, outspoken, crazy, funny, and for the first time in my life i truly felt beautiful- all because of my dancing. i met a lot of wonderful people and finally felt like i had found my niche.

- freshman year was coming to a close, i applied to be an RA in my college dorms and was accepted- i couldn't believe how well things were going for me- my life seemed to be coming together just in the way i had imagined. i felt like college had taken me under it's wing and given me everything i ever wanted. i ended my freshman year with a 3.9 GPA, amazing new friends, and a boyfriend who was everything i ever wanted- i was sure that time was coming that he would propose- i felt like my life was all planned out- everything was set- there was a plan and all i needed to do was follow along.

- the summer before my sophomore year my boyfriend told me he was going to be studying abroad in China for a semester. I was upset but i understood- we had been far apart throughout our whole time in college- he was in New York, i was here in Wisconsin. We had always made it work- long distance is not easy, but somehow i knew it was for the best. he set off for China and i set off for college- my new RA job and a brand new year. the moment i stepped into my room new room i just knew things were going to be different this year and i was ready for anything life had to throw at me.

-my RA room sophomore year overlooked the woods to the back of Mount Mary College- the sun would rise and set and it was the most beautiful thing i have ever seen. Every morning i would wake up and feel the warmth of that sky- no matter if it was raining, snowing, sleeting or sunny- i could feel it. i went to bed underneath that sky every night- the sky felt like it went on forever outside my window- to me the sky meant possibility and growth- it truly was amazing. my RA job was going great- my residents loved me and i finally felt like i was playing a vital role in the lives of people- something i have wanted to do all my life.

- it was halfway into sophomore year that i realized your "plan" doesn't always go the way you think it will. in fact sometimes having a plan when your that young isn't always the smartest thing to do. my boyfriend called me from China and told me that he was going to be spending a year in China instead of a semester and that he wanted to take this time to be apart- it would be good for us he told me. i remember the silence that resided on both of our ends- i choked back tears of anger, sadness, guilt and denial. how could he do this? didn't he know we had a plan? i spent that day crying more then i ever have in my life- i never realized how much pain one person could feel all at once. my emotions over took me- i felt like nothing would ever make sense again. i think i stayed in my room for about a week- contemplating a way to get him back- i would do anything- even move to China- a story i laugh about now but was very real to me then.

- i needed a distraction- and that is exactly what i got. i tried to make new friends- which i did. i pushed away everyone i ever cared about up to that point- who needs them anyways? i didn't need any reminders of him- i needed to escape. i needed a new life, new identity, a new way of living- and that is exactly what i found. i turned into a college party fiend- every night that there was a party- i was there. there were many mornings spent praising the porcelain goddess back in my dorm room, hoping no one would notice i was hung over from some serious partying the night before. i didn't know it then but i do know now- that wasn't me- it wasn't who i really wanted to be, but it was who i needed to be- at that time, in that place. if i hadn't gone through that i wouldn't be where i am now- i firmly believe that a rocky road will always lead you to a better place- i was about to find that place.

- after much suffering in both my personal life as well as my academic life i decided i needed to change. i took my dancing back up again- i missed it so much. i can't tell you how good it felt to put on those shoes again for the first time- it was as if they were meant for me- the way they hugged my feet made me feel secure again- as if they were telling me "welcome back, we knew you'd come around" this is when i met D- i had known him before this time but it felt so brand new to me. it was a clean slate and i welcomed him aboard- for better or worse. i warned him him not to get close- "it's too soon, i'm no good for you" type of warning- but as you all know he didn't listen.

- a month after we began dating i moved out of the dorms. my heart just wasn't in it anymore- i had lost the trust of a lot of people and i wanted to regain myself before i attempted to be there for anyone else. it was one of the hardest moves i have ever had to make- i would miss all of my friends- the people i had known for so long. D asked me to move in with him- i was unsure at first- i had never lived with a boyfriend before- putting all of our stuff together just seemed so permanent- what if things went wrong again? what if this plan also failed? i made a leap of faith however, which i am feel i do often- which is sometimes good, and sometimes bad- but it turned out to be one of the best leaps i ever made!

www.mthreestudio.com

-fast forward 3 months- D proposed to me on November 19th 2005! I was on the moon, head over heals in love! it couldn't have been a better time, we were planning our wedding in no time- well ok we were kind of lazy about the whole planning thing in the beginning- but we finally set a date- August 11th, 2007. shortly after that we moved to milwaukee, D got a new job as a car salesman and i got a job as a medical biller. we were in love and finally moving into our first apartment together- it was small, money was tight, but we made it happen. we were saving, saving, saving for the wedding of our dreams!

www.mthreestudio.com

- finally, our day was here! we were so in love that day- i am so glad i got the whole thing on video because otherwise i would have missed a lot! i love this picture. it is one of the ones i have not yet shared on my blog- so i thought i would show you guys how much fun we had with the timeless and classic garter toss.the moment i walked down the isle and saw D's face i realized all along he was the man i was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. i truly believe in soul mates- there is that one person out there for everyone- at that moment i felt like i had found mine- that this was real, it was all coming true. it was the best moment of my life- the wedding of course- not just the garter toss :0)

i realized today that this shoe has been through a lot. a few posts back i wrote about how i do all of my best thinking in the car- all of my thoughts, feelings, emotions are embedded into that car! whoever gets it next better take care of it- it has put up with me since i was 15! kind of like the little pink shoe on my key chain. i never realized until today just how much that charm means to me. it may look ratted and torn- worn out and lifeless. sure the color may be faded and the rubber on the bottom smooth from me nervously rubbing it- but that's what makes it so great!!!! it carries my memories, the good and the bad, my roller coaster of a life- all wrapped up in a tiny pink shoe. i promised myself today that i would never get rid of that pink shoe- it will stay with me forever, and even when it can no longer reside on my key chain because the leather is so worn and it finally gives way- it will still be with me- maybe not on my key chain but in my mind.

i hope that all of you have something like this- something that you have taken with you through the years, something that has grown with you, been there for it all. if you have it tucked away take it out- think about where it has been, where you have been, and where you are now. small things do really bring great things- this shoe has taught me a lot.

sorry for the abscence

sorry everyone i will be on later to write a long post- lots of things on my mind lately- good things in fact so i will post all about it soon!

hope all is well with everyone! i have been commenting on all of your blogs- but am a bad blogger- school has gotten the best of me!

i have a 10 page paper looming- it truly is the paper of doom

check back for more tomorrow!